Today was different than yesterday. But isn't everyday? I had low after low after low. It left me completely drained. I am at the end of the day and I feel like I've ran a marathon.
I went to bed just after 2 am. My sugar was 11.9 from finishing off my JK.er's smoothie and then his hot chocolate too. It was really a few gulps... of each. Who's gonna take insulin for that? I guess I should have 'cause I spiked... Anyways, took a correction of 2.9 units and went to bed.
I woke up with an amazing BG of 6.7. I rewarded myself with a bowl of Vanilla Almond - Special K. I got the JK.er on the bus for school and walked the Toddler to Apko's house. Meanwhile Hubby tinkers with the minivan and fixes the flat tire from the night before. I half-jog back hom, and bolus for the cereal I had 45 min ago. I decide to do a DUAL WAVE (half the insulin up front and half over the next 1 hour).
I get ready for work in a whirlwind and I somehow make it on time for 9:30. There's a storm coming but I don't sense it. I go into work and launch into a busy morning. I don't stop to breathe until close to noon. The office has snacks again. Almond chocolate bars cut up in perfect bite-size pieces right by the photocopier next to a box of Timbits. I hate and love snacks. Alright, I love them, Sue-Lynn hates them.
I don't want a repeat of yesterday so I bolus for the snacks. I grabbed only two or three bites of the chocolate and 2 Honey Cruller Timbits. Harmless really... right? I am due to grab my lunch in 15 min when in from the rain storm walks-in a walk-in. I take the appointment expecting it to last 15 - 20 min tops. The client keeps me in my office right through lunch. I start crashing. I am embarrassed to test so I try to plow through it. I honestly start not making sense. I am staring at the computer screen and I am having a lot of trouble concentrating. I see spots.
I finally tell my client, "I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to have to down a juice box. I'm Type 1 Diabetic and if I don't get some sugar in me soon, it won't be pretty." My client is young and so I don't really care what she thinks. She makes the "I'm so sorry" face and throws me some pity. I try to ignore it. We end the appointment and I finally go to lunch 1 1/2 hours late. My head is pounding. I go next door for Chicken Shwarma and test. I'm at 3.4. Feeling horrible...I bolous and get back to work. Back in my office, I feel like laying down on the carpet and taking a nap. My BGs have rocked me today.
The same tone carries for the rest of the evening, even after I arrive home. I find that having a low or two kills me. Even if I recover, even if I bounce back, I am still a mess for the rest of the day. I feel the same with highs.
If I get on that roller-coaster at any point throughout the day I cannot put my feet back on the ground and walk a straight line. The day is a write off.
So here's to a day that I've basically lost. Today I arrived home and played a bit with the boys and snuggled and watched a movie with Hubby after they went to bed. But I felt pretty horrible and was really struggling to stay with it. I do not have the option to throw in the towel, to say I'm going to take a quick nap. I was already away for most of the day - there is no way I can ask Apko to watch the kiddies for another 2 hours while I lay down or while I pick myself off the floor.
There is a book that my JK.er likes me to read to him. It's a book about bedtime called "Pick up and Put Away". On one page it says bedtime means, "... it's time to take pity on papas and mamas". I sometimes find myself just counting down to the end of the day. Not because my boys are such a burden or because they are hard to parent. They are wonderful. They make me so happy and seeing myself and my Hubby in them is the most rewarding part. Sometimes I stop and stare at my JK.er - "That's a little me, in a boy version." And my Toddler - through and through my Hubby. I think I am looking forward to the end of the day as a whole. Some days. Not all days. But days like today are a perfect example.
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