Me: Exposed - Day 1

Thursday

I want to try something. It's risky. It's very out there. It will expose me. I want to post all of my results, my Blood Glucose readings, my food intake, my carb intake (yikes!) and my nurse's reaction at my next appointment on April 9th.

I want to show what living with Sue-Lynn is like.  The thought process that goes into being around her 24/7.  The extra extra steps required just to sit down and enjoy my lunch.

The other reason is to allow myself to be kept accountable.  Asking a diabetic as soon as they tested their BG, "Where you at?" is like asking a women the same question as soon as she steps on a scale... You are looking over the shoulder and it's rude.  If a diabetic wants to share s/he will.  BUT through out Me: Exposed, I want to give full access to my over-the-shoulder view for 10 days. Not a life-time.   I will document what I eat - hopefully with pictures for the most part; I will record down my BGs - every single one of them; and I will even discuss any stressors or anything that is out of the ordinary.

I've started keeping ridiculously detailed records as of this morning - I've had highs and I've had lows.  I've also had a few great BGs.  It's quite the rollercoaster - and me and Sue-Lynn ride this ride all day, every day.   I reattached my pump last night after midnight and thus one experiment ended (the pen month) and another one began - Me: Exposed

Here are some rules to keep in mind:
* please remember that I am human, and I make mistakes... often...
* I love carbs.  Not something I am proud of and my endo team calls me the Carb Queen.  Not really funny... but at this point at least I am aware of it.
* nothing is ruder to a diabetic than yanking food from in front of them with the comment "You can't have that."  Almost equally rude is not offering something to a diabetic because, "You can't have that" when you've offered it around the room.  And others notice and stare.  So don't [gasp] and shake your head at what I eat.  I have a busy life, as most of us do, and some days I am glad to get ANYTHING in me - mostly on the go.
*be encouraging.  If you can't say something nice, than say the thing that is not nice but say it nicely.
*if no one jumps on board to keep me accountable, that is a-ok.  I will have it out there and I will have a reason and a goal to test and test and test all day long while at the same time documenting what I am ingesting and what I am injecting.

Day 1

My day started after midnight last night.  It didn't start off so good.  At 1:30 am I got a new battery for my pump (a Medtronic MiniMed 723 Revel - I am convinced that is a spelling mistake.  They meant to call it a Rebel), rewound the reservoir holster (where the insulin in held inside of the pump) and filled a new reservoir with new NOVORAPID insulin out of the fridge.  I used the Paradigm Silhouette site inserter for the first time in 30 days.  It goes in at a 45 degree angle anywhere where you can "pinch an inch".  I prefer my tummy.  Most do.  It was surprisingly painless.  I guess I had forgotten that it usually is... painless.  I filled the tubing with insulin (that's the line that runs from my pump to my site), connected it to my new site on my tummy and ran 0.9 units as a Fixed Prime (that's to flush insulin through the inserted site and make sure you have no "bubbles"/air pockets.   Finally, done.  I smirked and tucked the pump in my shirt.  (Surprisingly most diabetic woman carry it shamelessly in their bras.  I noticed this yesterday at the Advanced Pumping Class.  I have been doing the same thing for quite a while, but I was always shy to reach inside my blouse and pull out my pump - like I'm pulling out a rabbit out of a hat.)

I went to retrive my tester.  Check the front lobby for my purse.  Nope.  Check the backs of the chairs in the dining room.  Nope.  Check the floor in my bedroom.  Yep.  Ok.  Bring it out into the light - hubby was already sleeping - and dig for tester.  I find the black little pouch among the other 3 or 4 other black little pouches - wallet, sunglass case etc - that are all black in my bag.  I test and I'm at 13.5.  "What?! Think, think.  What did I have within the last 2-3 hours?"  I find night time to be the worst.  I snack almost continuously.   I had left-over margarita pizza (tomatos, mozzarella, basil on a thin crust - Kirkland Pizza from CostCo ) around 10 but I insulined for it.  And then I overrode the Wizard with at least 2 units.   What is happening?  I correct the high - it wanted to give me only 3 units.  I forget that I have "insulin on board" (insulin that is still active - it has a 4 hr life cycle) and override the Wizard again to 4 units.

Satisfied with that decision I head to bed.

I wake up with a terrible case of Adrenaline at 5:30 a.m. and I test.  BG is 2.4. Yikes, that's low.  I head to the kitchen and drink Tropicana orange juice right from the jug.  I take about 3 big gulps and head back to bed.  I resist the urge to eat something - another symptom of a low.  On the one hand you feel panicked but alert due to the Adrenaline, on the other you are hungry for anything in sight.  Your body is in survival mode and it wants to eat the fridge to make sure you do not crash again.  I trust my decision for OJ and go back to sleep.

One hour later, my 1 and a half year old Toddler wakes up but it's still dark.  I will not pick him up at 6:30.  I head back to the kitchen and pull out a small pot.  Open the fridge and grab the bag of milk.  Start the oven to high on a small burner and warm up the milk.  A microwave would be faster but after my husband went through 6 months of chemo in 2009 for Lymphoma (cancer of the lymph nodes) we decided we would remove the microwave from our house.  Not saying it was what caused the cancer at all.  But rather, why risk it?  It's not such a big deal.  Except at 6:30 am.  I am still content with our decision and the baby falls back asleep with warm milk in his tummy.  I also go back to sleep.  I don't feel any of the low symptoms so I am sure I am normal again.  But I do not retest.

One hour later at 7:30am my 4 and a half year-old JK.er is in my bed.  He's in Junior Kindergarten at  a French-Immersion elementary school in our neighbourhood.  "Mama," he whispers. I am already awake because I heard his little bare feet take the short walk from his bedroom to ours.  "Mama," he tries again. "It's morning.  Wake up."  He snuggles next to me and I attempt to gently shush him so we can fall back asleep together.  Fail.  Within 10 minutes I am fighting a losing battle and I throw in the towel and get out of bed.  The Toddler is also awake and I can hear him singing and making other cute noises from the nursery.

My JK.er and I get the Toddler changed into a new diaper and we all make scrambled eggs together. Some eggs make it into the bowl without leaving shell pieces behind, others make it on the floor.  None the less, breakfast is a success and we have milk and coffee and my mom's homemade bread.  My BG reading is 3.4  So still low but not feeling this one as much.  Interesting.

 

I get my Toddler to Apko's ("grandpa" in our family) and head out to an appointment with my JK.er.  After leaving the house 2 minutes after the appointment started, I have to turn around when we pull up to the first light - Hubby called to let me know I had forgotten my pump.  I didn't even realize.  I am not surprised - it's the first morning on the pump in quite a while.

In the middle of the appt. at about 11:19 am I test my BG because I am feeling off.  BG: 5.5  Hm.  I wonder if I am dropping.  Note to self: test in 1/2 hr on the way to work.

 I reunite my boys at Apko's house and drive to work for noon.  When I arrive in my office I test again.  8.0  Hm.  I didn't take anything to bring it up to that.  Shrug my shoulders and start my day at work.  If I see a pattern of this around noon over the next few days I'll investigate further.

Around 2 pm I am still plugging away (I work in banking) and I pause to consider that I have not eaten since the eggs and coffee this morning.  I pull out a sad excuse for a snack: Mott's Applesauce and Mrs Field's Peanutbutter cookie.  I do not test but eat my snack and tell my Wizard on my pump that I am having 40 g of carbs.  I am feeling the effects of NO LUNCH.

At 3:33 I test and although I'm 6.7 (perfect!) I feel horrible.  Five minutes later I pop my head in my manager's office and tell her I am heading out for bite and I'll be back in 15.  I head over to a Pita joint across the street and order a Chichen Breast pita on whole wheat. I load it with green peppers, mushrooms, cucumbers, tomato, lettuce, cheddar/mozza cheese and a bit of tiziki sauce.  The girl (who happens to have two black eyes - no joke) warms me that the whole wheat pita falls apart more than the white.  I still choose it.  Point for me.   I do not insulin yet.

 I inhale the pita and cross the street and get back in my office in time for my 4 pm meeting.  As I discuss assets and wealth with my manager and a partner in my office, I swing my chair towards the opposite wall and pull out my pump out of my blouse.  You know what, it's 4:15 and I haven't taken insulin yet. I don't care that they are in my office.  I will be as discreet as I can be but Sue-Lynn is not very patient.  It's now or you'll pay later.

4:40 I start wrapping up my paperwork and head to the photocopier to scan some docs and other administrative stuff.  I pass by a box of treats for the office.  I could say no.  I should say no.  But instead I peek in.  They are simple Asian long stick "pretzels" dipped in chocolate.  The packaging is in Chinese so I don't know what they are called.  They come in individual packs of ONLY (I wish you could see my face now - I am rolling my eyes and smirking because I KNOW ME) ONLY 10 sticks.  I grab one and start munching as I finish the mandane tasks.  "These sticks are good," crunch, crunch on stick #4.  As I walk back towards my office I'm thinking, "Wow this Asian chocolate is so smooth".  Crunch Crunch stick #7.  By the time I log off my computer and lock up my desk at 5pm, I have finished the baggie and did not take any insulin.  But I did not realize that at the time...

I stop by to see the kids at Apko's house after work and rush to the pharmacy for some medicine for the Toddler.  He has an ouchie on his toe and we need the medicine to start working quick.  I have a Parenting class at 6 pm with Hubby and I have very little time.  I drop of the drugs and rush to make it on time.  On the way I down a vanilla Glucerna.  I grabbed the wrong ones at the store.  I wanted the chocolate but mistakenly purchased the vanilla.  I am not impressed but I still drink them when in a time crunch.  I knew there would be no dinner until later so this was the next best thing, I guess.  No problem, right?  I pull in the parking lot with 2 min to spare and say to myself, Self, make sure to take insulin once you sit down and are settled.  I test at my seat and I am 20.4  "That's crazy!" I exclaim internally.  Correction for the high, Bolus (meal insulin) for the shake = 6.9 + I add in 0.1 to make it even = 7 units.  "It's those Asian sticks!"  I didn't take any insulin for them!

Class starts and I try to not think about my sugars.

6:30 BG - 17.4  "It's coming down!"  There are snacks out popcorn & pecan butter tarts, I say no!  Point for me.  I grab a small paper cup of coffee instead, with a sprinkle of Splenda and a splash of milk.

7:10 BG - 13.4 "Great! Still coming down." Grab another small cup of coffee.

We get out early, 7:45, and I rush home and quickly pack up for a quick workout at the gym.  I haven't been in over a month.  My JK.er loves their Kids Program there, but time after time when I said we'd go, something has come up that prevented us from going.  Hubby stays home with the Toddler and tells me he'll take care of his bedtime.  Score!

We arrive at the gym at 8:20 pm and after dropping JK.er off, I head for the Elliptical machines.  The gym is located next to a Starbucks so I can catch their WiFi from that area.  I turn my iPad to Netflix and start an episode of the original Beverly Hills, 90210.  I make it through about 18 minutes when I start feeling completely spent.  I will myself to make it past 25 min.  I know it's been a while since I've been here but come on! 18 min?  Please.  Then I consider that I didn't test before commencing the workout... I wonder where I'm at.  Could it be that it's Sue-Lynn that is tired?  Is she whimping out on me?  I get off the machine at 21 minutes and wipe it down.  I walk halfway to the change rooms and realize I forgot my water bottle.  I turn around and head back.  I don't have the energy and I now know, it's Sue-Lynn!  Rebeca could go on for hours.  Heck, I ran a half-marathon... in 2009... haven't ran more than 2 miles since.  But still.  Something (read: someone) is off.


I get to my locker and test.  BG 2.8  Ok.  I have nothing with me.  Not even an apple.  I usually love to have an apple after a workout.  A tradition I started back in grade 7 cross-country running.  I collect Noah from Kids (he is in the middle of helping the girls clean up the room. How wonderful!) and we drive through 1/2 a block to McD's for their Fruit Smoothies.  We get one of each and I do not leave the parking lot until I have drank 1/3 of mine.  It's 9:15 pm and we do another drive-through: A&W.  Grab 2 teens for $6 and head home.

Tiered at the end of a long day, I enjoy my teen burger and smoothie (so counter my gym workout, but at least I went).  I bolus for the burger and for the smoothie and hope it works out.  Thankfully at 11:25 it turns out I did it right - BG is 6.4.  Small victory.

Tomorrow is another day.  Another ride.  Another chance to be friends with Sue-Lynn.  Let's see if she's play nice.